在申请留学的过程中，文书是十分重要的申请材料之一，一份好的文书能够让学生在众多的申请者之中脱颖而出。今天,Uni君带大家一起分析一篇成功申请到 Johns Hopkins University 的文书，希望给同学们带去更多灵感！

学校: Johns Hopkins University

分类：Hear from the Class of 2023

I looked up and flinched slightly. There were at least sixty of them, far more than expected. I had thirty weeks to teach them the basics of public speaking. Gritting my teeth, I split my small group of tutors among the crowd and sat down for an impromptu workshop with the eighth graders. They were inexperienced, monotone, and quiet. In other words, they reminded me of myself…

我抬起头，微微退缩了一下。他们至少有60人，远远超过预期。我有30周的时间教他们公共演讲的基本知识。我咬紧牙关，把那一小群导师从人群中分开，和八年级的学生们一起坐下来，参加一个即兴研讨会。他们没有经验，单调，安静。换句话说，他们让我想起了自己……

I was born with a speech impediment that weakened my mouth muscles. My speech was garbled and incomprehensible. Understandably, I grew up quiet. I tried my best to blend in and give the impression I was silent by choice. I joined no clubs in primary school, instead preferring isolation. It took six years of tongue twisters and complicated mouth contortions in special education classes for me to produce the forty-four sounds of the English language.

我生来就有语言障碍，这削弱了我的口腔肌肉。我讲话含混不清，听不懂。可以理解，我从小到大都很安静。我尽我最大的努力融入人群，给人一种我选择沉默的印象。我在小学时没有参加任何社团，相反，我更喜欢独处。在特殊教育课程中，我花了六年的时间练习绕口令和复杂的嘴型，才学会了英语中的44种发音。

Then, high school came. I was sick of how confining my quiet nature had become. For better or for worse, I decided to finally make my voice heard.

然后，到了高中。我讨厌我那安静的天性变得如此拘束。不管是好是坏，我决定最终让别人听到我的声音。

Scanning the school club packet, I searched for my place. Most activities just didn’t feel right. But then, I sat in on a debate team practice and was instantly hooked. I was captivated by how confidently the debaters spoke and how easily they commanded attention. I knew that this was the path forward.

我扫了一眼学校社团的资料袋，寻找自己的位置。大多数活动都让人感觉不对劲。但后来，我参加了一个辩论队的训练，立刻就被吸引住了。我被辩论者说话的自信和轻松吸引注意力所吸引。我知道这是前进的道路。

Of course, this was all easier said than done. Whenever it was my turn to debate, I found that I was more of a deer in the headlights than a person enjoying the spotlight. My start was difficult, and I stuttered more than I spoke in those first few weeks. Nonetheless, I began using the same tools as I did when I learned to speak all those years ago: practice and time. I watched the upperclassmen carefully, trying to speak as powerfully as they did. I learned from my opponents and adapted my style through the hundreds of rounds I lost. With discipline, I drilled, repeating a single speech dozens of times until I got it right.

当然，说起来容易做起来难。每当轮到我辩论的时候，我发现自己更像一头在车灯下的鹿，而不是一个享受聚光灯的人。我的起步很艰难，在最初的几个星期里，我口吃的次数比我说话的次数还多。尽管如此，我开始使用那些多年前我学说话时使用的工具：练习和时间。我仔细地观察着高年级学生，努力像他们那样有力地讲话。我从我的对手那里学习，通过我输掉的几百轮比赛来适应我的风格。有了纪律，我反复练习，把一篇演讲重复数十次，直到我把它做好。

Day by day, I began to stand a little taller and talk a little louder both inside and outside of debate. In a few months, my blood no longer froze when I was called on in class. I found I could finally look other people in the eyes when I talked to them without feeling embarrassed. My posture straightened and I stopped fidgeting around strangers. I began to voice my opinions as opposed to keeping my ideas to myself. As my debate rank increased from the triple to single-digits, so too did my standing at school. I began interacting with my teachers more and leading my peers in clubs. In discussions, I put forward my ideas with every bit as much conviction as my classmates. When seniors began to ask me for advice and teachers recruited me to teach underclassmen, I discovered not only that I had been heard, but that others wanted to listen. At heart, I am still reserved (some things never change), but in finding my voice, I found a strength I could only dream of when I stood in silence so many years ago.

一天又一天，我开始在辩论内外都站得高一点，说话声音也大一点。几个月后，当我被叫去上课时，我的血液不再凝固。我发现当我和别人说话时，我终于可以直视他们的眼睛而不感到尴尬了。我挺直了身子，在陌生人面前不再坐立不安了。我开始说出自己的意见，而不是把自己的想法藏起来。当我的辩论排名从三位数上升到个位数时，我在学校的排名也上升了。我开始更多地与老师交流，并在俱乐部里带领同学。在讨论中，我提出自己的想法，每一点都像我的同学一样坚定。当学长们开始向我征求意见，老师们招募我去教低年级学生时，我发现不仅有人倾听我的意见，而且其他人也愿意倾听。内心深处，我依然缄默(有些事情永远不会改变)，但在寻找自己的声音的过程中，我找到了一种力量，那是多年前我站在寂静中只能梦想的力量。

Standing in front of the crowd of students, it was my hope that by founding this program, I could give them an experience that was as empowering as mine had been for me. As the weeks passed, the students inched past their insecurities and towards finding their voices, just as I had always wanted to do. On the last day of class for that year, I looked up and saw each of the students standing confidently, equipped and ready to speak their minds in whatever they wanted to do. They had come a long way from being the shy and stuttering novices that they were just thirty weeks before—I can’t wait to see how far they can go from here.

站在这群学生面前，我希望通过创建这个项目，我能给他们一种体验，就像我曾经给我的那样。几个星期过去了，学生们慢慢地克服了他们的不安全感，开始寻找自己的声音，就像我一直想做的那样。在那一年课程的最后一天，我抬头看到法。他们已经不再是那个害羞、结巴的新手了—我迫不及待地想看看他们能走多远。

Jerry’s essay helped the admissions committee understand his background and how he persevered and grew through debate. Although we had already learned about Jerry’s enthusiasm for debate in other parts of his application, this essay gave so much more depth into why this activity is meaningful for him. Given what he shared in his essay, we can imagine Jerry being an active participant both in and out of the classroom.

Jerry的文章帮助招生委员会了解了他的背景，以及他如何在辩论中坚持和成长。虽然我们已经在Jerry的申请的其他部分了解到他对于辩论的热情，但是这篇文章更深入地解释了为什么这个活动对他来说是有意义的。根据他在文章中分享的内容，我们可以想象Jerry在课堂内外都是一个积极的参与者。

这篇文书属于C类，经历了挑战，没有明确的专业目标。作者有天生的语言障碍，花了六年时间学会英语发音，高中时又加入辩论队来锻炼自己，通过自己的坚持不懈，反复练习让自己站的更高，走的更远，他克服了自己的身体障碍，这是值得肯定的。这篇文章也展现了作者的成长过程以及对于辩论的热爱，从小到大作者都是安静沉默的，到高中时他决定改变现状，让别人听见自己的声音，于是加入辩论队，克服恐惧，勇敢地表达自己的想法，而且还帮助低年级学生克服内心的恐惧。

符号中外专家团根据学生的不同特质量身打造专属的高精尖文书。文书库内含上百个精彩案例，题型全覆盖，并且每一篇都有校方招生官的官方点评。