普遍认为,即使是拥有一份好简历的高中生仍然需要一篇亮眼的申请文书才能真正意义上增加自己的录取概率。无论在最好的时代还是最糟糕的时代,第一印象都很重要。任何一个希望受到招生官青睐的学生都要在申请之初努力写出精巧构思的“开场白”。


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11年级下学期至12年级上是本科申请人普遍开始着手写文书的高峰期,但每每等到执笔的时候,却又好像文思枯竭,无从下手。很多同学在申请季写到失眠、秃头、逐渐自闭。如何吸取灵感并获得在众多文书中脱引而出的机会?Uni 君认为,与其闭门造车,不如在符号文书库官方文书范例中找答案并吸取养分。


(图片来自符号留学官网文书库, 点击图片跳转


今天Uni 君就从文书库中找到哈佛大学和斯坦福大学的最新优秀文书案例来帮助大家从严选文书中获得养分。


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哈佛文书案例

哈佛大学作为老牌藤校,录取率一直保持在极低的个位数。据最新一季申请数据来看,今年申请人数39,506,录取人数2,056,2021届录取率5.2%;去年申请人数39,041,录取人数2,037,2020届录取率5.2%. 录取率和去年持平。


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这样低的录取概率可以看出,能被哈佛录取的文书均是经过招生官的火眼睛睛层层筛选出来的佳作。今天Uni 君选出一篇镇楼,然后为同学们附上招生官的毒辣点评。更多哈佛文书及点评,同学们可以通过符号官网传送门至文书库查看。


I think the most tragic part of my childhood originated from my sheer inability to find anything engraved with my name. I never had a CHAFFEE license plate on my hand-me-down red Schwinn. No one ever gave me a key chain or coffee mug with the beautiful loops of those double Fs and Es. Alas, I was destined to search through the names; longingly staring at the space between CHAD and CHARLOTTE hoping one day a miracle would occur. Fortunately, this is one of the few negative aspects of a name like “Chaffee Duckers.”


My name has always been an integral part of my identity. Sure, it sounds a bit like my parents created it from a bag of Scrabble tiles, but it comes from a long-lost ancestor, Comfort Chaffee. Now it’s all mine. In my opinion, a name can make or break a person. The ability to embody a name depends on the individual. My greatest goal in life is to be the kind of unique person deserving of a name so utterly random and absurd.


I began my journey in preschool. Nothing about me screamed normal. I was not prim, proper, and poised. I preferred sneaking away from my preschool classroom, barefoot, in the purple velvet dress I wore every single day to resting obediently during nap time.


I grew up in a family akin to a modified Brady Bunch. Stepsisters, half sisters, stepbrothers, and stepparents joined my previously miniscule household. But in a family of plain names like Chris, Bill, John, Liz, Katherine, and Mark, I was still the only Chaffee.


I was a bit of a reverse black sheep in my family. My name helped me carve an identity separate from my myriad of siblings. Instead of enriching my brain with Grand Theft Auto, I preferred begging my parents to take me to the bookstore. 


While my parents mandated homework time for my brothers, they never questioned my work ethic or wiretapped my assignment notebook. The thing that set me apart from the herd was that I was self-disciplined enough to take control of my own life. From the very beginning I never depended on my parents’ help or motivation to finish my schoolwork. Putting school first came naturally to me, much to the distaste and confusion of my siblings. My work ethic became known as the patented “Chaffee Method.”


As I got older, I began to embody my name more and more. I didn’t want to be that girl with the weird name in the back of the class eating her hair, so I learned how to project my ideas in both written and spoken forms. I was often picked to lead classroom discussions and my complete disregard for making a fool of myself bolstered that skill. The manner in which I operate academically is perfectly described as Chaffee-esque; including but not limited to elaborate study songs, complex pneumonic devices, study forts, and the occasional John C. Calhoun costume.


I take pride in the confusion on a person’s face when they first read my name. Seeing someone struggle over those two unfamiliar syllables fills me with glee. I feel as though I am adding a new word to their vocabulary. So on my last day as a page in the U.S. Senate, I prepared myself for the anticipated awkward stumbling as Senator Harry Reid thanked me by name in his closing address. But the stumble never came. I felt very humbled by his perfect pronunciation. Perhaps Chaffee is actually catching on!



↕上下滑动浏览英文原文完整版

文书点评

这是一篇非常具有说服力的文章。CHAFFEE拥有一个非常特别的“名字”,她在文书中清晰地叙述了关于自己“名字”的故事。


毋庸置疑,将个人生活中独一无二的经历写进文书,对申请任何大学来说都是非常聪明的选择。
CHAFFEE巧妙地通过“名字”塑造了自己的成长历程,详细地阐述了自己与其他人的不同之处,充分证明了“名字”在她一生中的重要性。



往往不需要惊涛骇浪般的人生经历和惊世骇俗的观点冲击,从小而细微之处有态度地观察你自己,就能发掘出不一般的视角给人眼前一亮的感觉。除了成功地选择了切入点外,这篇文章的制胜之处还在于它构思精巧的开头。第一句话就开始探讨有特殊名字会带来什么“悲剧”,这一问题迅速引发了招生官的阅读兴趣。开头段紧跟其后,几件大家都爱做的与名字相关的事情从一开始就拉近了作者和读者的距离产生了共鸣,并从字里行间漫溢出幽默感和乐观主义


本科招生工作人员在评估学生的总体成就时,会特别注意那些让阅读文章变得特别愉快的第一行或首段。今天Uni 君就紧接着为同学们送上斯坦福大学招生官发表在校刊中公认的优秀开篇。


斯坦福文书精选片段

Unlike many mathematicians, I live in an irrational world; I feel that my life is defined by a certain amount of irrationalities that bloom too frequently, such as my brief foray in front of 400 people without my pants.

Sitting cross-legged on the floor of a Bhimanagar slum dwelling in Bangalore, I ran my fingers across a fresh cut on my forehead.

While traveling through the daily path of life, have you ever stumbled upon a hidden pocket of the universe?

The spaghetti burbled and slushed around the pan, and as I stirred it, the noises it gave off began to sound increasingly like bodily functions.

I stand on the riverbank surveying this rippled range like some riparian cowboy—instead of chaps, I wear vinyl, thigh-high waders and a lasso of measuring tape and twine is slung over my arm.

Good Grief! You never would have guessed that an unassuming meek lovable loser like Charlie Brown would have an influence on anyone; but indeed he has.

On a hot Hollywood evening, I sat on a bike, sweltering in a winter coat and furry boots.

文书点评

古怪又冲击的开头句,极易激发读者的阅读兴趣。从这样的观点出发,结合以你自身的独特经历,徐徐展开专属于你自己的故事是写好一篇申请文书的关键,毕竟趣味是故事的灵魂。希望以上提供给大家的Stanford录取文书经典开头句能够给大家以启发和方向。



为了帮助写文书非常迷茫或遇到瓶颈的准留学生们打开思路,Uni君特地整理了近1700多篇顶尖大学录取文书范例及官方点评在符号留学官网文书库中,相信你一定需要!


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